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Monday, September 12, 2016

"The Caregiving Season"

disclaimer:  I received this book for free from Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. in exchange for my honest opinions.  All opinions remain my own.

"The Caregiving Season"

by Jane Daly
foreward by Jim Daly

  Most of us will eventually have to deal with task of being a caregiver to our parents.  With folks living longer and longer thanks to the advancements in medicine, there are more and more children having to step up and take on the responsibility.

  In "The Caregiving Season" Jane takes us through the stages that are common in our aging parents end of life adventure.  

  Acknowledging loss is about what it's like when we see that there is something wrong, this is typically when the children see that their parents aren't as young as they used to be and may now require more care from the children.

  Bargaining with grace is about how to work with your parents and your siblings to get your parent the care they need depending on their situation.  

  Accepting new roles is about how the children go from getting to be the child in the relationship to having to step up to a parenting role.  

  And exiting with grace is about end-of-life decisions.

  Not only does Jane share her own experiences about taking care of her parents she also includes some stories about how other people are caring for theirs.  There is also a ton of great resources mentioned throughout and a section in the back of the book with a page of resources for more information for the caregivers.  

  She also uses scripture to show the many places in the Bible where taking care of our parents is mentioned and explains them.  

  Mommy in PA:  This book would have come in so handy about four to five years ago.   My dad was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer back in July of 2012.  Well prior to his diagnosis we had all been wondering if there was something wrong with my mom.  She had been acting very paranoid, misplacing things like crazy, etc.  Well my dad took her to the doctor and found out she had the early signs of dementia.

  Well none of us had ever dealt with it before and of course my dad didn't ask for help unless it was absolutely necessary.  I would go and sit with her while he went for his treatments because he knew he couldn't leave her alone at the house or something terrible could happen.  

  Well I won't get into all the details but between my brother and his wife and my husband and I we did what we could to make his last days easier.  

    She went downhill fast the last two weeks he was in the hospital and didn't even know who he was when he came home to pass away.  Well after my dad passed away that left us scrambling to figure out what to do with mom.  My brother and his wife had already told my dad that she could move in with them when the time came and I took the day shift while they were at work.  

  Fast forward three and a half years, she still lives with them and I still watch her while they are at work.  And this works well for us.  But Jane's book would have really come in handy on making it easier to talk to my dad about his wishes, about how to talk to our siblings about what we need from them to make this work, about how to talk to mom and find out what she expected of us.  

  All children need to talk to their parents about these things so that when the inevitable happens we are prepared and know that what we are doing is a combination of our parents wishes and what we can personally handle.  

I could just go on and on about all the good information in this book.  It really has a ton of useful information that would come in handy for anyone with an aging parent : )


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